Is Discipline a Dirty Word for You?

"What do you see when you hear the word discipline?"

This is a doodle coaching question that I love to ask.  Clients have seen everything from military sergeants to taskmasters with whips to planners with every hour accounted for. Personally, I think of those YouTubers who tell you all about their super strict morning routine that starts at 4 am and goes for hours...  

No matter what Creative I ask (myself included), the response in the body language tends to be similar.  There is usually some kind of eye roll, a sigh or huff, and a collapsing of the body in some way.  (Perhaps you did the same thing when you read the question?!)

It's my experience that we Creatives tend to feel this way about discipline for three reasons:

• We crave variety.  We want to follow the inspiration and how we feel.  And those things change ALL THE TIME.

• It is too rigid.  We want space to daydream and sit with ideas and play with things.

• We've had people in our lives that haven't helped. (Even though they tried to.) Teachers, parents, bosses, etc. have made us feel like we are doing something wrong.  They got it right. We don't.  And they have tried over and over to make us do it their way.

All of this can add up to the belief that we SUCK at it and usually we don't like things we suck at... 

And, yet, there is a part of us that deeply desires some kind of discipline.  It is the part of us that wants to see something through.  The part of us that wants to be dedicated to something we care about.

I get that yearning and here are three questions that have helped me redefine discipline for myself:

1. What do I want to be a disciple of?  
When someone pointed out that "disciple" and "discipline" have the same root, I had a HUGE ah-ha!  While we generally think of disciples as devoted followers of a leader or teacher, they are so because of what that leader or teacher stands for.  So, when I uncovered what I truly want to be devoted to and stand for, I saw that there was PLENTY of variety contained within that concept and quite a VARIETY of ways to pursue it.

2. What kind of discipline do I need?
If doing something at the same time every single day makes you want to run screaming in the opposite direction, then that is NOT the kind of discipline you need.  Perhaps you need to create choices within limits.  For example, I want to do movement activities every day, but it could be the gym, a walk outside, yoga, or a dance class.  I can pick what feels good daily if I want to.  Or maybe you have 3 things you want to do each day and it doesn't matter when you do them, so long as they get done.  You get to decide what works for you.  

3. What feels supportive to me?
Sometimes the unhelpful people in our lives have really good intentions. They are trying to be supportive in the only way they know how.  If you take a moment to figure out how they could help you and let them know, most would be THRILLED!  Now you have helped them to feel helpful. And we all want to help those we care about.  Successful people know that they wouldn't be where they are without support from others.  We all need it, but we have to know what we need and ask for it.

When I think about these things, I think of an even bigger question:

What if discipline is something I get to create?  In other words, what if it is moldable to my life, my brain, my creativity and it wants to be my friend on the journey?

☆★ Creative Challenge ★☆ What question resonates with you?  Doodle what you see and feel when you ask yourself that question.